February 12, 2018

2:39 a.m. 

I really don’t know what I be doing most of the time. You ever feel lost? Do you miss me? I think about you every day. I can’t remember the last day I didn’t speak your name. Or think about your face or mine ...whenever we were together. I just don’t get it. Now I’m starting to see and hear you everywhere. It’s one thing when it’s my thoughts. It’s another when I know multiple thoughts are on you too. What did we do?

I’m so scared to let go. You’re the only person I’m holding onto. I get so vulnerable with you. I just open myself up to you and I don’t know how to stop. I miss you every day...I’ve had too much time on my hands. I’ve been spending a lot of time with myself. Maybe I’m recharging. Overthinking. I’ve been fake falling in love with this other guy. When I’m not thinking about him I’m thinking about you, when I’m not thinking about you I’m thinking about him. I can’t have either one of you. I don’t even know if I really want to either. But here I go, back and forth. I’m surprised I never really tried tennis. Seems like we have a lot in common.